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Thursday, 29 May 2014

When is lack of competition in the not a problem?

You know how the media have been flooding us with a constant stream of propaganda about how the SPFL is crap because there's no competition and using this for the best part of the last 2 years to imply - or openly declare - that Sevco FC should be promoted straight into the top division?
Some in the media have even used this to justify the incredible assertion that the Championship will be a better league than the SPFL next season despite the two teams relegated from the top league finding themselves in that position due to being crapper than the other 10 SPFL teams and the Championship team who won the promotion/relegation play-off.
Ever wondered what it would be like if the boot was on the other foot?

Or been told the media would be saying just the same thing if Deid Club/Sevco were running away with the league title (that's the top division league title by the way, not one of the lower leagues although I hear winning one of those is still worthy of a star on the badge) year after year with Celtic languishing behind as also rans?
Well wonder no more, as courtesy of one of the Celtic Forums this gem has been unearthed. An slabbering piece of sycophancy written by St.Mirren fan Bill Leckie in 1997. For those wondering as to the identity of the ‘Muz’ character referred to, it's not too difficult to work out that this refers to David Murray. Clearly Leckie was well into the succulent lamb even in the days before Traynor made the phase famous. ==========================================
Bill Leckie, 1997
All I can say is, massive respect is due to Rangers – and Muz in particular – for keeping Brian Laudrup in the game.
And before all you Celtic fans – including the one standing over me with a rolling pin as I write this – start giving it the there-ye-go-ah-always- knew-he-was-wanna-them paranoia, remember one thing.
Rangers also beat you when Laudrup WASN’T playing.
This time last week I was all set to write a piece on how they had finally, eventually, taken the leap forward they’ve threatened for so long; but then the news broke that their greatest asset was leaving.
Suddenly all the summer’s advances – the arrival of a foreign coach, the signing of Thern and two top-drawer defenders, the Defenders lost their sheen.
You wondered just what a downer there would be on the day their Great Dane went walkies for good.
A couple of seasons ago, last summer even, you wouldn’t have bet tuppence on
Muz being able to talk the boy round. But something has happened at Ibrox, something you can’t put your finger on, which seems to have propelled them into a different orbit.
And so, as Ajax sat back waiting with a spacecake and an Oranjeboom and Fergie came out gloating that the player was his, Muz quietly got down to the business of making Laudrup stay.
Were I a Celtic man, I would be so afraid. No manager, no sign of a manager, two biggest names threatening to do a bunk, no sign of new blood, season ticket holders in a major huff.
Call me picky, but things do not look good. And hell mend them.
I cannot believe how quickly and how far Fergus McCann has allowed things to slip, especially after Tommy Burns took them so close.
It is easy to say now that Burns was a failure, but what is nearer to the truth is that he was a very good manager with the wrong club.
The closer he got to toppling Rangers, the more his emotional attachment to Celtic overtook the rational thinking his job required.
Others would disagree, but I reckon Burns will go on to be a huge success elsewhere, starting in King Kenny’s bootroom at the Toon.
What is not up for argument, though, is that Celtic are in a far worse state without him than they were with him. Rangers are leaving them further and further behind with every passing day and there is no white smoke from the Parkhead chimney to signal a comeback.
The Ibrox men are, I reckon, one more signing away from finally leaving their greatest rivals – and, therefore, the rest of us – so far behind them they will be no more than a dancing dot on the horizon.
Who is that signing? I’d go for Batistuta – though Muz says no – but whoever they end up with he will be big time and he will be here soon.
It’s enough to make any Celtic fan hide behind the couch.
Sorry? Oh, you already are.
-------------------------------------------------

Interesting. So in July 1997 Brian Laudrup was set to walk out the door but at the eleventh hour, Muzza Moonbeams, was able to talk him into staying.

I wonder if a wee side letter was involved.

Can't believe Fergus McCann let thing slip so badly indeed.

Meanwhile Rangers 1872-2012 were clearly in 'Muz's' safe hands.

Clearly Fergus McCann didn't do enough to earn a nice wee pet nickname from the lamb junkies, although Fez would be out of place for a great man synonymous with another item of headwear

Friday, 24 August 2012

BIGOTS TARGET LANCE ARMSTRONG

DAILY RETARD Fri 24th Aug 2012

USADA TARGET LANCE TITLES
By Jim Nobrainer

Lance Armstrong has been punished enough. This is now a vendetta perpetrated by spiteful bigots.

Why should he be stripped of titles he cheated to win? It's short sighted, petty and over the top.

His poor fans didn't do anything wrong. Why should they be punished? Fuck the fans of all the other cyclists, they are not important.

Cycling can't survive without Lance Armstrong. He should be allowed to do what he wants. The rules should be changed or ignored with impunity.

Bradley Wiggins should be allowed buy his history whilst dumping all the drugs and cheating bad bit, and any unpaid bills or taxes that happen to be due (fuck them), and thereby become the most successful cyclist in history. He would have then have to call himself 'The' Lance Armstrong but we would be happy to report on him as if nothing had changed as long as he keeps the succulent lamb and fine red wines coming.

Is that too much to ask??

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

WE DIDN'T PAY OUR TAXES - By Billy Nowell

WE DIDN'T PAY OUR TAXES

(to the tune of 'We Didn't Start the Fire by Billy Joel)

Charlie Adam, Alex Rae, Davie Dodds, Andy Gray,
Nacho Novo, Charlie Miller, Derek Ferguson,
Terry Hurlock, Bill Struth, Press won’t tell the truth,
Robert Fleck, Larkhall, Ian Ferguson.

Queen and crown, John Brown, James Traynor shouting down
Bowler hats, Gavin Rae, Findlay’s Karaoke
Graeme Souness, Hate green, tug yer forelock tae the queen,
Murray’s tenner fiver boast, sending bullets through the post.

We didn't pay our taxes,
We were always cheating, while our drums were beating
We didn't pay our taxes,
Hector didn't like it and we tried to fight it.

Green Straws banned here, Songs of hatred very clear
war chest, UEFA fines, the loyal won’t see the signs
season tickets sold off, Leckie hears a non-existent cough
Trouser leg rolled up, but huvnae won the Big Cup.

Terry Butcher, Bobby Tait, Jock Wallace, Catholic hate,
On the queen’s highway, Barry’s passing sideways
Alan Hutton, red socks, selling orange football tops,
Derek Johnstone, Chick Young, journos won’t admit they’re huns

We didn't pay our taxes, we were always cheating
while our drums were beating.
We didn't pay our taxes
Hector didn't like it and we tried to fight it

Sandy Clark, Kris Boyd, Ten seasons, all void,
John Greig, early bath, FTP autograph
war chest, Edu, 1690 menu,
Alec Clelland, Gascoigne, Still singing about the Boyne

Lafferty, Richard Gough, getting Timmy sent off,
BNP, Orange Hall, Playing anti football
Casuals, ICF, Celtic fan stabbed to death
Barcelona drenched in piss, Master Race hubris.

Chorus
We didn't pay our taxes, we were always cheating
while our drums were beating.
We didn't pay our taxes
Hector didn't like it and we tried to fight it

Malmo, Maribor, not in Europe anymore,
European moonbeam, but got put out by a diddy team
Zurich, Zizkov, Unirea pub team
Barcelona, Bucharest, Osasuna, more arrests
Bobby Tait’s dodgy watch, the huns are on crimewatch
Manchester, blown away, what else do I have to say?

We didn't pay our taxes, we were always cheating
while our drums were beating.
We didn't pay our taxes
Hector didn't like it and we tried to fight it

Dodgy chief a billionaire, Jelavic no longer there.
Cardigans, Walter Smith, Whyte’s billions just a myth,
Interdict, court case, monies due, losing face,
Ally Fat Paul Le Guen, at the Sheriff Court again
Coisty hasn't got a clue, neither do the fans in blue,
Transfer window, shut again, Whyte has let them down again,
Players wages on the line, Whytie might be doing time,
Padlocks on the Ibrox doors, they can't take it anymore

Chorus
We didn't pay our taxes, we were always cheating
while our drums were beating.
We didn't pay our taxes
Hector didn't like it and we tried to fight it
But when we are gone
You can still walk on, and on, and on, and on..........

Sunday, 19 February 2012

Revision of History - Jabba's Message to Fergus McCann

They will do everything the can to re-write history... This was written in 1998, ironically at almost the same time Traynor was penning his infamous 'Succulent Lamb' piece from inside David Murray's rectum...

"If McCann really were a supporter, someone out of the same mould as the thousands of foot soldiers who bought into the dream almost five years ago, he would be able to lift his eyes from his ledgers and see the damage his refusal to break his pay structure is causing."

"If anything the signing of Lubomir Moravcik at a cut price has merely caused them further embarrassment."

Irony doesn't begin to cover it.


The Final Say…James Traynor;

GET OUT NOW FERGUS OR YOU'LL BE HATED FOREVER

FERGUS McCANN has basked long enough in the warmth of his deeds.

Today most of the goodwill once commanded by Celtic’s managing director has been blown away by an ill wind which swirls around Celtic Park.

In fact, Celtic’s irksome managing director has overstayed his welcome. Mr McCann, it is time for you to be somewhere else. Anywhere will do because Celtic’s fans are tired of your posturing and disgusted by your parsimony.

McCann did give Celtic fresh hope but now his grip is choking the life out of the old club.

He should get out and take Jock Brownand Jozef Venglos with him.

As football rushes towards the millennium this trio might just be a little out of their depth. One is committed to maximising profit, apparently at the expense of the team’s ambitions, another keeps returning empty- handed from searches for new talent, and the third is a kindly old uncle figure unable to stand up to the club’s masters.

In the beginning McCann’s methods seemed quaint, and for a while most of us made excuses for his confrontational and abrasive style because he was unaware of the football business’s unwritten rules.

McCann could have adjusted but he hasn’t and comes across as a stubborn little man who will do it his way no matter what. It’s his train set and if he wants to run it right off the rails then so be it.

If McCann really were a supporter, someone out of the same mould as the thousands of foot soldiers who bought into the dream almost five years ago, he would be able to lift his eyes from his ledgers and see the damage his refusal to break his pay structure is causing.

Pretty soon his stock among the rank and file will be so low he may be allocated a place in the club’s hall of infamy alongside those directors who ruled before him. If he is not careful the mere mention of his name in crowded Celtic strongholds, like Bairds Bar in the Gallowgate, might cause a silence to fall over the places.

It would be a great pity if it should come to that but McCann and his disciples within the club have only themselves and their egos to blame.

They behave as though they and only they know better and that is an arrogance which has alienated each one of them and which now prevents the club from making progress.

Celtic, who lost again on Saturday, are a club without trusted leadership on and off the pitch, and it is pointless for McCann to emerge only occasionally either to patronise the fans or to toss verbal hand grenades in the direction of the media, sometimes his own players, and sundry snipers. It seems every time he speaks he makes more enemies, and Celtic don’t need to be isolated.

Apart from last season’s premier-division championship win, Celtic have known only trouble and misery. The last 10 years or so have been fraught with problems, manufactured mostly in-house, and the fans are bewildered and anxious.

They want genuine stability and a reason still to believe, but under McCann, whose allies would have the fans grovelling in appreciation until the end of time because he delivered the new stadium, this club has courted controversy.

How often have we witnessed the managing director rage at the world when he should have been building bridges? These outbursts are not laudable, they are laughable and his stand-alone policy is not bold, it is boring.

Even so, the fans would still be behind him if he had provided a team to take on all-comers.

Yet, Celtic are still waiting for the player who could strike a blow for them and strengthen their hope of retaining their title. That, Mr McCann is what is most important to your customers, yet you and your people have failed miserably to provide.

Celtic are still without a top-quality striker because they will not put themselves into the big-pay league. It is that simple and it is also where McCann lets the fans down.

Listen to this Fergus and try to take it in. You insult your club’s fans when they are told they don’t understand the economics of the business or the workings of the transfer market. And stop telling them players are too greedy and make enormous demands.

These are not newly-uncovered secrets, Fergus. The supporters could have told you how much would have to be spent to keep Celtic on top. The fact is fans don’t give a damn about how much money players want to grab for themselves and unlike McCann they don’t spend too much time fretting about the profit margin.

No one is greatly impressed either that McCann appears to have embarked on some kind of holy crusade to bring football’s expenditure under control, and his season- ticket holders would rather have the title with some debt run up on the transfer market than no title and no borrowings.

These fans are willing to gamble, and remember they, too, are shareholders.

They still find it difficult to believe Celtic didn’t sign reinforcements during the close season and they are appalled that a top-class striker has not yet been secured.

If anything the signing of Lubomir Moravcik at a cut price has merely caused them further embarrassment.

If you analyse Celtic’s behaviour since the title was won, you come to the conclusion this club are guilty of misjudging the mood of the fans and also their needs, but McCann is not the only culprit.

Recently Murdo MacLeod, who was Wim Jansen’s assistant, suggested Brown had come up with a possible signing target, and if the general manager now believes he is qualified to do that then Celtic’s problems are worse than any of us might have suspected.

Brown isn’t remotely qualified for such a specialised task. This man’s function is to close deals and run a smooth operation.

Can we honestly say he has succeeded in his remit?

Enough has been said about the lawyer-turned-television-commentator-turned- whatever- it-is he and McCann see him as now, but what are we to make of the good doctor?

He is a charming and thoroughly decent man, but that isn’t enough. Managing either half of the Old Firm requires steel as well as tactical know-how and I just don’t believe Venglos has enough left in his armoury.

He has been successful in the past but he is older now and I fear he is a gentle man out of his time.

Saturday, 12 November 2011

Open Letter to Mark Hateley by Colin Paterson

Written by a friend of mine (Colin Paterson)

Open letter to Mark Hateley

Mark, I have listened to and read many accounts of those who fought in WW1, the vast majority - and perhaps like your Grandfathers - were conscripted, not volunteers
They speak of people who were too scared to follow orders being shot in the head by their commanding officer. They did not regard themselves as being hero's. The choice was simple, do as I say and there is a good chance you will die. Don't do as I say and there is a 100% chance you will die.

Many said that choosing the former option did not make you a hero, it was playing the odds. None of those involved in the Great war and WW2 wanted to be there, true there were some with a romanticised notion of defeating "Der Hun" sic. However that notion was soon driven from them as the first howitzer fired overhead.
The point I am making is don't use your grandfathers as pawns in this debate, it belittles what they were forced to do. Do you think that compared to what they endured in those times football teams wearing a poppy decades in the future is remotely relevant?

The British football clubs and national teams went 70 years without wearing a poppy on their strips. To my knowledge the nation has not endured a collective bout of amnesia regarding the World Wars.

The whole enforcement of poppy wearing by media institutions and sporting institutions of recent years has done more to harm remembrance Sunday than those who have chosen not to wear it ever will.

Jon Snow coined the phrase "poppy fascism" an intillectual man I am sure his words were chosen with great care.

To belittle a group of people either Scotland or Celtic fans as mindless bigots for not wanting to wear a poppy is unfortunate. We are supposed to live in a nation of tolerance and respect. Respect of each others opinions.

I doubt you have ever attempted to scratch the surface of why some Celtic fans refuse to wear the poppy, or why some Muslims find it offensive.

Britains armed forces committed unspeakable attrocities the world over. None more so than in post World War 1 Ireland, some of the very same soldiers who fought for liberty in the Somme engaged in state organised violence and murder against Irish civilians, yes they got some Fenians too but the net was cast far and wide. The Black and Tans were notorious Mark.

Some of those who refuse to wear the poppy at Celtic Park would have had Grandfathers and Grandmothers just like you, but who suffered terribly at the hands of British troops. I will not ask you to dishonour your Grandfathers by not wearing the poppy. Please do not use a national newspaper to ask others to dishonour their Grandparents by wearing it.

Colin Paterson

Friday, 28 October 2011

Laptop Loyal loses its sense of humour over insolvency events

The Laptop Loyal appear to have lost their sense of humour when it comes to football clubs possibly going bust. What could possibly have changed in 17 years?

Where was the hand wringing and desperate concern for "the good of Scottish football" back in 1994 when it was Celtic in trouble?

Surely a great photo opportunity is going abegging (so to speak) down Ibrox way?

Saturday, 17 September 2011

The Daily Record: Why Feed the Hand that Bites You?



So what happened to Neil Lennon last season, not to mention over the past 10 years or so, is all just a big joke apparently. Merely banter to liven up an otherwise mundane rivalry between Celtic and Rangers. Hatred and bigotry is a just a bit of fun according to the Daily Record. Isn't it hilarious that Neil Lennon's family home has a panic button and 24 hour security because he lives 24/7 with the threat that someone will attempt to maim or murder him?

The message seems to be, we can't beat it, in fact we're not even remotely interested in trying, so we'll just revel in it and make it all a big laugh.

And we wonder why we've got problems with bigotry and hatred in this country?

It's all just banter and a great laugh, that is until Neil Lennon has the temerity to suggest a referee might have made a mistake by awarding a penalty for an "offence" that video evidence proves did not take place and was anatomically impossible for the referee to have seen. No, commenting on a refereeing mistake - note: commenting, not "blasting", "raging" or "ranting" as headline writers in Scotland are prone to cynically misrepresent as a matter of custom - is totally unacceptable conduct which directly imperils the lives of Scottish referees and should bring the harshest possible sanction upon the culprit. There is no room for humour or inneundo when it comes to defending the integrity of referees who's honest mistakes always favour Rangers.

The hypocrisy of the Scottish media, and their pandering to the bigoted sensibilities of their priority demographic - "Ra Peepul" - is so stark and obvious it's practically Python-esque.

Then we have the "none so blind as those who will not see" neutrals, who's impotent parrott response is "bad-as-each-other..bad-as-each-other..bad-each-other" to each new media slur, death threat, riot or physical attack on Neil Lennon. They cannot be shifted from this "bad as each other" dogmatic myopia, such that as evidence builds, "offences" committed on the Celtic side are inflated to fit their bizarre world view that bigotry and sectarianism in Scotland is subject to some unnatural law which keeps the distribution of such "offences" and attitudes at a perfect 50-50 ying-yang distribution on either side on pain of the universe collapsing in on itself and ceasing to exist if the truth were to be revealed; i.e. that Scotland's problem with "sectarianism" is nothing more than a symptom of the familiar nativist hostility to an immigrant ethnic group that is repeated many times across the globe.

In fact, with each new appalling example of anti-Irish/Catholic hatred, fans of other Scottish teams seem to expend far more energy scrambling around trying to offer up evidence that Celtic/Irish/Catholics are equals in the venom and frequency of such behaviours, as they do actually condemning the perpetrators of the actual events that just took place.

If there were unconditional condemnation of these acts from neutrals without the "buts" and the "What-aboutery" maybe Scotland would get somewhere with this issue.

Sadly, the customary reaction to such events in 2011 is to inflate the Celtic/Neil Lennon charge-sheet, therefore commenting fairly and honestly in calm and measured language becomes Neil Lennon "bringing this on himself" by "waging a one man war against referees"; penalties correctly awarded to Celtic are held up as "balancing out" glaring refereeing errors and laws designed to address religious sectarianism have to be amended to encompass political expression to make the evidence fit the pre-conceived "bad-as-each-other" conclusion.

By the way, for every quote you can show me of Neil Lennon being critical of a referee, I can show you three of the manager with nosurname doing the same, and in a manner which falls a long way short of the personification of dignity persona the Scottish media have built for him.

Call it my very own "for every fiver" quote.

In contrast it seems to be an editorial law in Scotland that each and every photo of Neil Lennon in a newspaper has to strengthen this snarling, madman persona they've cerated, no matter how mundane his actual comments in whatever story it is they are reporting, a-la the graphic below:



And how about this, just so we know where the Daily Record stands over last season's "shame game" - if a game where three of the four individuals responsible for said "shame" were admonished, leaving only one to carry a sanction for little more than raising his voice and pointing - can be considered a "shame" game:



With this latest effort pushing it's nadir down yet further than it's already snake shite base, the Daily Record is seen clearly inhabiting the same cesspit as the knuckle-draggers it seeks to ingratiate itself with. The article accompanying the "Who do we hate the most guys?" headline makes effective use of the old Neil Lennon angrily pointing the finger at Ally McCoist photo which it must've published only about the 500 times by now. Any old excuse to bring out their favourite photo to keep up the character assassination of the manager of Celtic FC.

Speaking of which, here is a choice quote from the article crayoned by the Rangers PR legend that is Keith Jackson.. "There is a part of this man which seems to thrive on chaos. At times it is almost as if he feeds on it. Well, tomorrow he'll have the chance to gorge himself senseless..." Is Jackson seriously trying to suggest that Neil Lennon greedily laps up viable explosive devices being sent to his family home, physical attack and vile abuse? It appears so. This is classic "he brings it on himself so just carry on boys" stuff.

Other choice headline words on the back page include "grudge" and " Rangers backlash". I'm sure the Daily Record will be suitably outraged and full of moral indignation if any violent behaviour should occur either on or off the park tomorrow.

I'm not actually sure that "journalists" like Keith Jackson, Darrell King, Leckie etc. are capable of actually comprehending the wider view and how their pathetic apologist and whataboutery articles appear to an objective onlooker. They are now so embedded in a pro-Rangers PR machine bubble that relies on verbatim Rangers press statements and spin for their copy, or risk ejection from the bubble that sustains them that they are incapable of conceiving a train of thought that is rooted in anything other than a Rangers point of view, i.e. the bias is systemic as well as personal.

I haven't bought the Daily Record since the 'THUGS AND THIEVES' headline in 2002 and even then I was a sparing consumer of the rag. I basically don't buy any newspapers now, they're full of BS propaganda and spin whatever the subject, designed to turn the public against whatever demographic the Establishment deem the target on any particular day e.g. public sector workers, immigrants, the unemployed etc etc, basically anything to keep the working and middle classes fighting with each other rather than the bosses and owners. Funnily enough though, I still manage to keep more than adequately up to date with anything that's actually newsworthy from online sources. Much more so than the average Daily Ranger or Sun reader I can assure you.

But unfortunately there are still Celtic fans who buy this particular rag. Make no mistake, the Daily Record is nothing other than an anti-working class Rangers fanzine.

But the sad thing is... as reprehensible as the Daily Record is, the bottom line is they're only pandering to what they've identified as the major target demographic in Scotland. Tabloid newspapers are notorious for merely reflecting the prejudices of society rather than trying to shape them positively. The Daily Record obviously has data to inform their marketing to tell them this sort of bigot-pandering stuff goes down well with readers and sell papers. Doesn't reflect very well on Scotland does it? However, when stating this in the hope of some honest introspection from fellow Scots who follow neither Celtic or Rangers, the response is invariably to shoot the messenger and begin the whataboutery "..bad as each other.. bad as each other... bad as each other...brings it on himself..should tone it down..sqwuak".

Back in July, I wrote a piece for inclusion in Paul Larkin's "Dougie, Dougie: Rants from the Front of the Bus". I include the closing paragraphs here as a summary of my attitude to the Scottish mainstream media's attitude to Celtic:


"But in reality, not only are they apologists for extremist bigots, the Scottish media fanned the flames of hatred towards our manager by following an editorial policy of demonising Neil Lennon to protect the interests of the Establishment club. They did this by ensuring every photo of Neil Lennon appearing in print was one of a snarling contorted face. They did this by labelling perfectly rational comments as “outbursts”, “blasts” and wild accusations of cheating and conspiracy where none were made. The only manager who used the word “conspiracy” last season was Peter Houston in the same game where Neil Lennon was lied to by a referee and then accused of being out of control. The only manager who accused the SFA of deliberately scheduling appeal hearings to ensure a player would remain suspended for an UsVThem game was Walter Smith.

Neil Lennon is by no means a saint but the media built up a grotesque straw man caricature to insane levels, simultaneously feeding the bigots and feeding off their bigot 35p or whatever the Record costs these days. Demographics in Scotland dictate that the Establishment club have to be pandered to at any price, even if that price means dicing with the life of a Celtic manager.

I started blogging about Celtic’s treatment at the hands of the media in 2002. I can’t remember a specific date but I haven’t bought a Daily Record since their legendary “Thugs and Thieves” slur in December of that year. The Sun was binned in 2004 after Bill “It’s great to have such a big Rangers man in the studio” Leckie’s poisonous diatribe against Martin O’Neill for having the temerity to wave to his own fans from the pitch at Mordor. The Evening Times has been persona-non-grata for a similar length of time. I gave up radio phone-ins shortly after reaching puberty.

So what have I been missing all these years?

To employ the words of the CQN legend that is Bournesouprecipe – unmitigated Hunguffery.

I’ve missed out on being told which superstars the Gers are going to sign and how Celtic’s star players are perpetually unsettled and on the brink of leaving the club.

I’ve missed Celtic players being wrongfully accused of thuggery and sexual infidelity and about “Old Firm” stars being accused of indecent assault.

I’ve missed reading about how each successive Celtic manager is even more “paranoid” and “stubborn” than his predecessor whilst those who perform the role at Mordor are the personification of dignity even as they complain about everything from refereeing appointments to fixture scheduling.

I’ve missed reading about how lucky Celtic have been to progress to the 2nd round of the Champions League twice on the back of favours from other teams and the glorious European triumphs of Glasgow Rangers, the 0-0 win over Barcelona and the stumble to Manchester.

I’ve missed reading about Celtic cheating their fans by failing to prise open the biscuit tin whilst Rangers refuse to be held to ransom by greedy unscrupulous provincial SPL clubs.

Name every kind of hunguffery you can imagine and I’ve missed it.

Boy is my life better for it.

Do I find out when Celtic sign a new player at the same time as everyone else? Yes

Do I find out when Celtic appoint a new manager at the same time as everyone else? Yep

Do I find out the Celtic results at the same time as everyone else? Sure

Do I find out when Rangers sign Ronaldo at the same time as everyone else? Yes I just look for the pig in the sky
.
I get all this but I don’t get all the hunguffery in between. I’d thoroughly recommend it to every Celtic fan. Celtic Quick News, Celtic Underground, Celtic Minded, Kerrydale Street, Celtic News Now and a plethora of contacts on Twitter, Facebook and across the Internet are more than sufficient to keep me abreast with real Celtic news, not Hun propaganda.

You wouldn’t pay money to read the Rangers News so why pay for it under another guise? Why feed the hand that bites you?

This is why books such as these and those written by Paul, the Lost Bhoys, myself and others are so important – we can’t let history be written by those who wish to bite us
.
Let’s support guys like Paul Larkin, Paul Brennan, Chris McGuigan and Eddie Pearson.

Let’s support ourselves. Let’s support the Celtic family.

Bin the rags and blank the hundits
."